How Do You Shift from a Feeling of ‘Have To’ to ‘Get To’?

I was toast!

It was a Thursday night, a couple of months ago. I was frantically preparing to facilitate a full-day workshop on Friday for a coaching client and his team – and I felt ill-prepared. On top of that, I was to facilitate a full-day retreat for the CEO roundtable I facilitate on Saturday… at my home!

And I wasn’t ready. Ugh! And I was tight as a drum.

I explored the experience with my coach afterward. She asked “What had you choose that response?” It was fortunate that it was a video coaching call, because I kinda wanted to slap her. 😉

I responded, “Well, I suppose I did choose that response, and it certainly wasn’t an intentional choice.”

What became clear after our exploration was that my tightness and rigidity was being driven by the story I was telling myself. It was a story of “have tos.” (more…)

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Posted in: Emotional Intelligence