Review of Learning in Relationship, by Ronald Short

We were delighted to see Tana Paddock’s review of Ron Shorts book, Learning In Relationship. Check it out at http://organizationunbound.org/expressive-change/learning-in-relationship/

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Our Favorite Books

This portion of our website is new. We hope to have this interactive so we can post items and invite you to do the same. We are beginning this with a list of some of the books we use often and find them highly relevant to Emotional Intelligence and the different dimensions of Emotional Intelligence. Please post your favorite books and tell us why they are most useful to you as a coach, consultant, or leader.

Jan Johnson

• Daring Greatly
  Brene Brown, 2012
  Brene Brown has emerged as the international leader for her work in vulnerability and shame. She discusses the challenge and power in owning our vulnerability.  She says “to live in courage, purpose, and connection-to be the person we long to be-we must again be vulnerable. We must…show up and let ourselves be seen.”She says “We all have shame. We all have good and bad, dark and light, inside of us.” Developing Shame resilience is the answer. “Often not being good at vulnerability means that we’re damn good at shame.”
• Facing Shame – Families in Recovery
  Merle Fossum and Marilyn Mason
  I have learned the power of shame in our lives through our work in Emotional Intelligence and how it can have a crippling impact.  I have read many books and for me, this is the best. It teaches us about shame, the power of shame in individuals and families. While this is written for therapists, it provides insight for all of us and gives some suggestions for facing our shame.
• The Emotional Energy Factor
  Mira Kirshenbaum
  I found this book to have profound insight into emotional energy and emotional depletion, why emotional energy is critical to our well-being and ways to increase our emotional vitality. Her research with experts revealed that “physical energy can supply at most 30% of our total energy….the remaining 70%….must come from your emotional energy.”  I often recommend this to client’s who are challenged with low emotional vitality (Joy).
• Listening To Bodies – A Somatic Primer
  Suzanne Zeman
  I love this book for its practical focus.  She says “The body is where we experience life.” Somatic work builds awareness and methods for effectively using our bodies, along with our minds, and emotions. This teaches the value of using the intelligence of our bodies to enhance our well-being.While this book is written for coaches, managers, and executives, the practical approach with focused practices makes it easy and helpful for anyone. It cuts to the chase on understanding and making it happen, now.
• Coping with Anxiety
  Edmund Bourne
  Dr. Bourne says “25% of adults in the US suffer from anxiety at some time in their lives”. Anxiety gives the gift of clarity. When it is high, it can also be destructive, ranging from making it harder to think clearly to panic attacks.I like this book for its practical nature. It is an easy read and provides concrete ways to work with our own or our client’s anxiety.
• Building Trust in Business, Politics, Relationships, and life
  Robert Solomon and Fernando Flores
  This is my favorite book on trust because it goes to the foundation of understanding trust and its nature. The writers define “authentic trust”, which they describe as “trust that is fully aware, cognizant of its own conditions and limitations, open to unimagined possibilities…based on choice and responsibility”.”Authentic trust is not a matter of feeling, but it is an emotional phenomenon, involving emotional skills. It is frank, even blunt, and nothing is more alien to it than cordial hypocrisy”. Authentic trust requires self-awareness, self-responsibility, and acknowledgement of the real risks of trust while choosing to authentically trust.

  Authentic trust is a way of living in relationship.

• The Thin Book of TRUST: An Essential Primer for Building Trust at Work
  Charles Feltman
  I appreciate this book for its practical application for building trusting relationships.  It provides concrete ways to use in working with others. It is an effective primer. My caveat for recommending this is that these practical suggestions are implemented within the context of authentic trust, which is described in the book above.
• Taming Your Gremlins- A Surprisingly Simple Method for Getting Your of Your Own Way
  Richard David CarsonI love this book.  It is an enjoyable read yet profound in its contribution to our self-awareness.  One reviewer said “Taming Your Gremlin is a great book because it helps us to confront our own demons and overcome them”. The writer’s voice is clear in describing our Gremlins and the many ways we tend to sabotage ourselves. He says it begins with noticing!  It also asks us questions about our own gremlins and how they show up.  It was very revealing.  This book is an easy, fast read that may provide you profound insights about yourself and be valuable in working with your clients

Ron Short

Founder and Senior Consultant

• Incognito, The Secret Lives of the Brain
  David Eagleman, 2011Two quotations disclose why I’ve listed this book.  “Imagine that your desktop computer began to control its own peripheral devices, removed its own cover, and pointed its webcam at its own circuitry. That’s us.”

  Then, after reviewing considerable research, this: “… reality is far more subjective than is commonly supposed. Instead of reality being passively recorded by the brain, it is actively constructed by it.”

  We create our reality. Knowing this is the foundation of Emotional Intelligence. If you want to understand brain research that supports this proposition, Incognito is an excellent resource.

Jeannine Hall

Manager Client Services & Operations

• Living in Balance: A Dynamic Approach for Creating Harmony and Wholeness in a Fragmented World
  Joel Levey, Michelle Levey and Dalai Lama (Jan 1998)This book is a great reminder of important “Self Care” principles, especially when work–life balance needs an adjustment. It can be read right through or put on the night stand for some meditative reading before going to sleep.  It is full of inspirational quotes that caused me to pause and do some reflection.
• The Happiness Advantage: The Seven Principles of Positive Psychology That Fuel Success and Performance at Work
  Shawn Achor (Sep 14, 2010)Achor highlights the research that supports personal and professional development theories and ideas that many of us in the field have held for years. It is a fun read, validating and has some surprises.

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